Throughout my years of spiritual work and research, it has become
very clear to me that by and large there are people who really
don’t love themselves. Far too many people fail to find a great
value within themselves and this lack of feeling important or
valued sets the stage for difficulties and struggles to dominate
their mind. We must find a way to realize our self-worth in
order to feel worthy to accept a greater good in our life
Back in my days at the Hollywood Church for Today, Dr.
Domenic Polifrone presented the congregation with a program that
had the purpose of helping people to feel important. “Who I Am
Is Important” was the phrase used. It included encouraging words
and tags that could be worn with the words imprinted on them. It
became a popular program and one that gave people an uplift to
their self-esteem. But like most programs, once it ended,
people generally fell back to old habits of finding fault with
order to receive, we must feel that we deserve. Our
subconscious scripts must know that we are worthy of receiving
our stated intentions. In order to do this, we must become
“aware” of past conditioning received from childhood. We must
become “aware” that other people’s opinions do not define who we
are. We must erase those mental scripts that limit and prevent
us from growth. We must learn to love ourselves unconditionally
and know that we are perfect just the way we are.
Here is a wonderful exercise from “The Science of Mind”
by Ernest Holmes; one in which he claims the mystics used to
teach their pupils self-love.
Cross your hands over your chest, like you are holding
yourself, and say “Wonderful,
Wonderful Me!” According to Holmes, this will
teach you to “Act as though I Am and I will Be.” This
exercise, done repeatedly, implants a positive seed of thought
into your subconscious.
Repeat this exercise as often as you like. At first
it may feel a bit awkward but keep doing it until it
feels comfortable and brings a smile to your face." – from the
“The Master Shift” (The Truth Is Simple), Christine Seagal was
the author of this piece.
On the drive to my
godson’s school, he noticed a bumper sticker with the words “God
Loves Me” in bold letters. He asked me if that was true. I told
him that it could be, but no matter who someone's god may be,
their god can only love them as much as they love themselves. He
asked me why? I responded that everything that we believe and
feel about ourselves is mirrored back to us, including love. If
we love, truly love, and respect ourselves, we shall find love
and respect coming to us from others. If we rely on others,
including a god, to validate us as worthy of love, then we may
find ourselves becoming very disappointed.
Dr. Robert Bitzer wrote something helpful in this
direction in his book, “Dominant Mind.” He wrote, “we cannot
change our point of view until, as Emerson said, “we can be
shown a new idea to command our own.” A person dominated by
poverty, no matter what they receive and spend, will feel poor.
They will remain in poverty, because they won’t have the freedom
of abundant spirit manifesting as what they really are.
Cheapness will invariably manifest. But they can change their
thought. There is no divine power or mind that says they should
be limited or that they should lack. Where is the lack? It is in
their thinking. They think and believe in lack.”
This “lack” reflects their lack of self-worth and love
for themselves. Too often, this lack of self-worth and
self-love, is due to people looking outside themselves for
validation. In this country a few days ago, October 11th,
was National Coming Out Day along with Columbus Day and
Indigenous Peoples Day. In the New York Times that day I read an
article about a 48 year old man who was “coming out” as gay. In
other words, he had lived the majority of his life hiding who he
really was. Not only did he hide this truth of him from others,
he went through years of self-depreciation because of it.
Shocking as it may seem to many, he became, during this time, a
Christian Evangelical. Aye Yai Yai!! At first I felt kind of sad
for him, but then I didn’t. He chose to hide his true self.
Chose to allow the world to make him believe that he was
unlovable. Hiding his sexuality perhaps made him feel safer,
more accepted, but the price he paid was in low-self-esteem and
unworthiness. Loving ourselves is key to loving Life. His life
was one filled with deceit and shame. Not exactly a life to be
The great Louise Hay declared “there is no god
watching your genitals.” This may appear course to some, but it
is the truth. It stems from the man-made false idea that there
is a god watching our every move and keeping score on whether we
are “naughty or nice” … wait that’s Santa Claus!
Cross your hands over your chest, like you are holding yourself,
and say ...
Keep the Faith!
(Reverend Dr. Henry Lee Bates)
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